Still Crazy After All These Years
During AcroYoga teacher training here in Montreal (July 2010 ), I was talking to one of the participants and he said that he was having problems curtailing his ego and not striving to be the world’s best base. I told him that he didn’t need to worry about that, I was going to be the best base ever and he could relax and stop thinking about that as his goal. From that conversation, I recognized that I was still working to release myself from the grip of the ego.
I live bolstered by my good fortune: healthy kids and marriage, business success and a lot of artistic satisfaction. I can count on my friends, students and AcroYoga buddies. It seems to me these gifts came my way without striving. With effort, yes, and application and luck, but that’s something else.
So what’s the deal? Where does this behaviour come from and when will it be done with me? I have always been this way, first as a dancer and then in the martial arts, yoga and AcroYoga. I thought that after my parents died and I had my kids, I would finally grow up and start to get it. You know, balance, equanimity, insights into my reactive patterns and all that! But no, I still basically just want to whip out the rad moves. I want to practice more variations on harder routines, more routines, harder moves, more reps, now! And what does all this striving behaviour bring? Finally, in me: injury. Unless there is a fundamental shift in attitude, I am destined to repeat this pattern under the guise of a desire for excellence.
It is now 10 days since I’ve practiced AcroYoga. My training partners and I are injured and are taking 10 days off to heal. Were these injuries avoidable? In my case, yes, they were. Daily, I anticipate the return to my practice, the feeling of being in the moment, moving in space, with space. This practice is a task master, demanding positive forward motion. The practice says to me: “Confront your arrogance and learn how to be a part of the human race.”
I will not make AcroYoga my drug, or my emotional dumping ground. I will not sell it or myself short. I will allow the practice to elevate me, as I continue to play with my loved ones. I will observe my tendencies and try to cultivate change.
Long live AcroYoga
